Days 165-178                      14 hrs                    215.5 to go

It is about the man pictured above – my father in his Aerosmith tour shirt – life given as a service to your family should not be rewarded with Alzheimer’s.  the reward should be peace and good fortune; wealth and comfort; it should be happiness and joy

I visited my Daddy during the days I have not posted to this blog and he has been on my mind and in my prayers – his life and what he has meant to me as a father has stuck with me for these last two weeks – I miss him so much; he is there but he is not – he exists, but for what purpose; surely not for any personal development – those inflicted with diseases like cancer and heart problems can at least pray, they can, at least, consciously offer up their sufferings to God – my father can no longer pray, he can no longer cherish the presence of the Eucharist, he can no longer reach out to Mary for intercession

So where does that leave me and my faith in this – I could be angry, but instead am sad – I could be annoyed with my God but instead am confused; and in my confusion have come up with an answer –  & that is that my life must mirror what my saintly father would be doing if he had his wits about him – I think that it is time that I lived more like him; be more gentle, more kind, more humble; as he was – I think that it is time to raise the bar and be what my heavenly Father intended me to be – my heavenly Father gave me the example of His only Son along with the example of an earthly father who lived his entire life becoming what God intended him to be

Who knows, the fate of losing my memories may be my own one day – I really should use my time to make a mark in this world – I need to be a better example for my kids – I need to be a better role model for my family and friends – I need to be a better son to my Heavenly Father and a better brother to my Lord Jesus – I need to take care of myself – I need to pray even more

Ephesians 6:18 & 1Thessalonians 5:17 encourages us to be constant in prayer – the quote from Ephesians has been part of me for years and I have not yet fully acted on it – well, I am finally going to start reading The Cloud of Unknowing today and dive into contemplative prayer, at least I am going to try my hardest - I want so much to be able to rest in God’s presence & I think that would be good for me – I want to hear His voice again speaking to me in those short concise sentences – I want to honor the gift of the Truth – I want to be there for my God and take what He has and give it away

It’s time to make the turn

My chaplets continue to be for the victims of the Haitian & Chilean earthquakes & for that oil to stop gushing in the Gulf.