Francis Richard

One of my uncles passed away today.  If you know anything about my family you know that it is quite large by any standard.  It is also a family that loves to get together and play music when we can.  My uncle Francis was the guy who was usually at the center of these musical gatherings when I was growing up.  “France” or “Frank” as he was sometimes called played guitar and sang out of pure love for doing so.  I don’t think he ever tried to make a dime doing it.  He loved playing and laughing and listening when someone else played.  My memories of him will always revolve around him walking in, guitar in hand and putting his foot up on a chair and playing his heart out. 

Uncle France didn’t have a booming voice, but he left a great impression on me and many of my cousins as most of us play some instrument or sing today.  My humble uncle is leaving a great legacy in music for generations to come.  The family parties we have are great events.  There is always a roar of laughter and talk and always somewhere there is music being played.  My uncle taught many of my family members how to play guitar including teaching me some of my first chords.  He lent me guitars when I was growing up and I’ve taken to doing the same for a few of my nieces and nephews. 

My uncle retired only a few years ago after working many years for a manufacturing firm in Connecticut.  He only was able to enjoy a few years of his retirement when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.   He never complained as far as I knew.  He told me it was God’s will and he was going to make the best of it.  One of the things he told me, was that Alzheimer’s had taken away his ability to worry.  He said he couldn’t remember what he needed to worry about so he was going to do it anymore. 

A few years ago I visited him and his family and some things had really changed.  He no longer remembered some of the names or faces of some of his own children.  He did for some reason remember me.  He said something that amazed me that day as I was leaving.

He told me that he couldn’t believe that I had six kids.  He also told me that I was a very special person for being to handle all the responsibility I had raising them.  I reminded him that he had also raised 6 kids and he seemed surprised and then acknowledged that he had.  I told him that I had always thought of him as being exceptional for that reason also.   

Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease and it robs you of everything that a person holds dear.  Well maybe not everything.  Long after my uncle had forgotten the names of all his children and even his wife’s name he said the following…   out of the blue he asked his wife if she would marry him.   He was happy to learn that they were already married.

As for me, I’ll remember his smile, his songs and his forgiving and friendly nature.  It’s one that I’ll try to pass on to my own family.  The thing that makes this a little easier to take is that I know that my uncle is already in heaven.

Please pray for his family,

JD Dufresne