When I was a teenager I went to see my favorite rock band.  They weren’t the biggest band around, but I really liked them.  The lead singer of this band was a tall cool gentleman with a thick European accent.  I’ll call him Roy for the sake of this post.  Roy was one of my favorite singers and songwriters at the time.  He was born to an unwed white Catholic mother and a black father who soon disappeared from his life.  Roy was as cool as cool could be as far as I was concerned.

I went to the show with my best friend, Jake, and his dad, Bob.  Bob loved going to concerts, and he knew all of the crew and security working at the show.  He knew the head of security who was a guy named, Cowboy.  Cowboy was 6’-5” and massive.  He looked like a biker who could get really angry if needed, but he was really a great guy.  I knew of the legendary Cowboy through his younger brother who was a friend of mine at school.   As soon as we walked in, Cowboy came over to say hi to Bob.  After a few minutes Bob asked Cowboy if he thought Roy would meet with us.  I figured there was no way, but Cowboy said he’d go find out if we could.  I remember being really excited about the possibility of meeting my favorite musician.  Unfortunately it was not to be.  Cowboy returned a little while later to tell us that Roy wasn’t feeling well.  Cowboy described Roy as being really run down with glassy eyes and a runny nose. Cowboy said Roy was nursing a bad cold and he would be needing all of his energy to do the show.  I was a little worried at that point that we wouldn’t be seeing a very good show.   

The concert venue was a club which held about 1,500 people.  It was fairly full that night and when The band finally came on they put on a great show.  Roy never gave any indication that he was sick.  He looked great and his voice was dead on, full of energy and the band played like a well-oiled machine.  I figured Roy just didn’t care to meet some locals. 

The smell of marijuana was getting thick during the concert which was usual in those days. At some point, Roy stopped to ask the crowd if they liked getting high.  The crowd responded with the usual cheers and whistles.  I hated that kind of stuff at concerts.  Bands always seemed to egg the crowd on, and I’d already known too many friends whose lives were getting out of control with drug use.  The crowd soon settled into a hush when Roy gave a terse warning to them.  He said that anyone out there thinking it was good to get high would regret it someday.  He said drugs would rob them of everything they loved.  I left the show thinking what a great and courageous guy he was to say that at that time.  It seemed to me like Roy had gone across the grain of what a typical rock musician believed in those days.  I had even more respect for Roy after that evening than I had previously.

I lost track of Roy and his band over the next few years although I remained a fan.  One night in 1986, I heard that Roy had passed away.  I was stunned.  I couldn’t find any information on him for many months.  I later found out that he had died of a heart attack and complications due to long-term heroin usage.  I heard he had fought to kick the habit many times, but he just couldn’t ever shake it for very long.  It’s possible that he was sick and waiting for his fix the night of the concert that we had seen.

I’ve read many articles about his life since he’s passed on.  I saw a documentary which featured his mom who has never gotten over the loss of her only son.  The one thing I’ve heard about Roy is that although he was struggling with many things he wasn’t bashful or dismissive about being Catholic.  One of the songs he wrote and recorded during his career was a prayer asking God to help him get over his addiction.

Had I met Roy that night I would have been too overwhelmed to say anything of any meaning.  It wouldn’t have been anything more than pure idol worship on my part.  In a way I’m glad we didn’t meet under those circumstances.  I’m also glad he gave the powerful witness that he did that night.  I know things like that get taken into account when we pass on.  I wish I could remember the exact words he spoke.  I’m positive he mentioned something about trusting God, but his exact words escape me.

I’ve heard they’ve been trying to make a movie about Roy’s life.  I hope they cover some of the positive things he did.  His mom says Roy got suckered into getting involved with heroin by some friends who he trusted.  It seems to me he wanted to make it clear the night I saw him that people shouldn’t be taken in by the mystique of drugs.  I was just a young kid at that time and I was playing in a band myself.  I didn’t get to meet Roy on the night of the concert, but he said more to me from the stage than he would have been able to had we met face to face.

Rest in Peace Brother,

Dan Dufresne