Who said you have to die to go to heaven?  This weekend proved to me that heaven can be experienced right here and right now.  The last 2 days were as filled with joy, happiness and peace as one could ever want.  It can’t get any better than my weekend (Father’s Day weekend 2011)

It started out with the wedding of my son Benjamin to Lindsay Cross.  First let me tell you a little about these two amazing young people.  They are the hope in this world.  They are what God had in mind when he created man and woman.  They are the definition of pride for a parent.  T

Ben and Lindsay are the ultimate example of “good kids”.  They are loving, caring, responsible, and kind.  They are well adjusted and stable.  They work hard; have wonderful goals for their lives and possess the determination to carry it out.  In many ways they are perfect.  Lindsay is the ultimate daughter in law and from what I am told by her family; Ben is the perfect son in law.  The Cross and Olock families are blessed by their lives and we can rightfully be proud.

Their wedding day was superb.  They exchanged Holy Spirit guided vows and both cherished every second of the day.  My son was so proud to take Lindsay as his wife.  Lindsay was so honored to become the wife of Ben.  For a Dad, the day before Father’s day; “it doesn’t get any better than this”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, as I was totally overwhelmed with happiness and pride, Ben’s mother received a phone call, Father’s Day, that our daughter was in the hospital with contractions and was ready to give birth to our first grandbaby, Tatiana Marie.  At 1:32pm, a new guardian angel went on duty to care for this 8 lb 13 oz., 20” bundle of joy.

Now let me tell you a little about this amazing new mother, Kate.  She is everything a father could want in a daughter.  She has a wonderful loving heart.  She is tough but quite wonderfully gentle.  She is confident yet reserved and humble.  She is focused yet flexible.  She understands the true meaning of “friendship” and knows how to give as well as receive the love of those in her life.  She will be an amazing mother to Tatiana and those that will follow and will be a great partner (and hopefully, one day, wife) to Michael.  She was a trooper yesterday in labor and was a proud, yet exhausted mother yesterday afternoon when I saw her for the first time since the delivery.

Last night as I smoked my celebratory cigar while reflecting on my son and daughters gifts to me this Father day; I realized that life is about what had happened within that 24 hour period between 2pm Saturday as Ben and Lindsay entered into the sacrament of Matrimony and Tatiana’s arrival at 1:32 – It makes the challenges of life all worth it.  It erases much of any heartache and pain and it is a chance for renewal.

Thank you Lord for a wonderful life.  Thank you for my amazing children.  Thank you for another generation of Olock’s (& Urso’s).  Thank you for my gift of salvation and all that comes with my faith.  You showed me this weekend about the prize for trying to be the best version of myself.  If I die the second after I click the submit for this blog, I will die a man as happy and at peace as one could be.

Thanks also to Ben, Lindsay, Kate & Michael.  Thanks to Mona, Mona, Mike, Jack, & Sandy.

THIS IS REALLY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me, a Pop Pop and Stepfather

I just finished watching part I of a DVD by Rev. Robert Barron titled Untold Blessing – The Three Paths to Holiness.  For you who have followed this blog, you know that I have read and commented on the book by St. Alphonsus, The 12 steps to Holiness & Salvation and it appears that the three steps by Father Barron will encompass Alphonsus’ twelve due to their titles: Finding the Center, Knowing You are a Sinner, & Your Life is Not about You (the one I anticipate the most).

In the first part, Father Barron made the correlation about finding The Center by relaying the story of Martha and Mary, a story that has taken up lots of thought and discussion for me during this Lent.  Father Barron notes that this is not about Mary doing the right thing and Martha needing to stop worrying about food and drink, but it is about being centered on Christ.  He proposed that if Martha sat at the feet of Christ and Mary was preparing the meal, Martha would still be fretting about things and her mind and spirit would be going in many directions and that Mary would still be focused completely on Jesus even in the process of preparing supper.  Jesus’ chastisement of Martha was not about what she was doing, but where her heart was; where her focus was not.

This led me to think a bit about my life and what and why I do what I do.  Father Barron went on about detachment (Chapter 5 of the 12 Steps to Holiness & Salvation) and how we must separate ourselves from the worldly and be focused only on the Will of the Father.  I pondered again how important it is not to worry about fortune; not to fret about success or popularity; not to be troubled about what is going to happen tomorrow.  I am starting to see that it is truly  not about me, even not about my friends, family, and community; but truly about my God; & if it becomes completely about the Lord, my life and the life of others around me will fall into place just as God wills it.  Alphonsus wrote this about true detachment; “Faith teaches us that nothing g happens without the permission of God.  If, therefore, we suffer the loss of our good name or our temporal possessions, God does not of course will the sin that is thereby committed, but He wills or permits the suffering that falls to our lot and He wills it for our good.”  Here again is that lesson on the importance of suffering – does that mean more lessons coming on mortification!!!???

Father Barron then went on to talk about Finding the Center, which of course is Christ.  He told the story of a famous stained glass “rose style” window in Paris named the Wheel of Fortune.  This window depicts the struggle of life and how we go from being on top and rich and powerful and popular (and the anxieties of being on top and needing more to be satisfied) to the next position which is the inevitable fall to the bottom of the wheel and being down and out to the upswing of the wheel and climbing back (with the help of God) to start the cycle over again.  He notes though that our goal is to climb from the spokes of the wheel to the hub, the center which is Christ.  This part of the wheel that stays centered and all pivots around it.  Logically, if we are centered in Christ we will not fret, we will stop worrying about loss of fortune and will simply accept our lot in life as God’s will for us.  Again, it goes back to what Paul teaches us, “we are brought down in order to be strengthened, we are made low to help us to reach higher.”

It is becoming more apparent, even for a thick headed lout like me, that these paths to holiness are the true paths to happiness.  The walk to holiness and sainthood is the only walk to contentment.  It is not about the fading rewards of this world, but the everlasting riches of living a life in Christ.  If Jesus is our Center, if God is what we live for, if the Holy Spirit steers the ship; no matter how bad the storms are in our lives, we will arrive safe and secure when we are called to face our Judge.  I must keep my focus, no matter what -  & the next two parts of the DVD  – Knowing You are a Sinner and Your Life is Not about You will surely further my walk to Holiness and my goal, my Salvation.

What Is the Easter Duty in Roman Catholicism?

Answer: Because of the central importance of Easter to the Christian faith, the Catholic Church requires that all Catholics who have made their First Communion receive the Holy Eucharist sometime during the Easter season, which lasts through Pentecost Sunday, 50 days after Easter. (They should also take part in the Sacrament of Penance before receiving this Easter communion.) This reception of the Eucharist is a visible sign of our faith and our participation in the Kingdom of God. Of course, we should receive Communion as frequently as possible; this "Easter Duty" is simply the minimum requirement set by the Church.

So, there is good news here – we have until Pentecost to complete this “duty” if you have not done this simple and grace filled task

Why is it so hard for us to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity for grace?  Confession, or more recently called Reconciliation is avoided, like the plague by so many people.  My belief is that many do not understand the entire purpose of the sacrament – many think that it is simply a “duty” to confess our sins to a priest & therein lays the error

Confession, as I have come to know it (thanks Dennis O’Connor) is much more that confessing our sins & yes we can and should do that each night with God.  Confession is Jesus’ way to impart grace on us to not sin again – Remember, to be forgiven of a sin; we must have in our hearts the true desire not to commit that sin again.  If we go to confession to confess something we know we will do again and have not committed to try with our whole heart mind and soul to not do again – WE WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN and have not made a proper confession.  I recently came to realize also that if we purposely leave out some sins (due to embarrassment or other silly reasons), that we will not be forgiven for the ones we confess.

So let’s get back to the true purpose of the sacrament; to gain grace not to sin again.  Grace, that God given “boost” or power to do the will of the Father – that God given opportunity to turn our lives around and to live as saints (or at least to try real, real hard) is truly a gift from our Lord.  My friends, that is why I write these things to you – to pressure myself to do what is right – I do this as part of my yearning for grace to be the best version of myself.  Four years ago I committed to monthly confession.  I have a confessor who I go to each month, when possible & I encourage all of you to find yourselves a confessor; someone you can sit down with and unload your sins and ask for the grace not to do them again.  The screen and anonymity is OK but if the purpose is to gain grace; go face to face.  Remember, the priest represents God & absolves you by the power given to the apostles when Jesus conferred on them “the power to bind and the power to loose sins.”  They represent the people you sinned against as well – again remember, what we should do is ask forgiveness from the person we offended or sinned against – we really should confess to the person we stole something from and to make retribution - we really should ask forgiveness from the person we took out our anger on – we really should make right the lies we tell. 

To sum this up, the sacrament of Reconciliation is about conversion and repentance.  Check out what our Catechism says about this: 1439 The process of conversion and repentance was described by Jesus in the parable of the prodigal son, the center of which is the merciful father:  the fascination of illusory freedom, the abandonment of the father's house; the extreme misery in which the son finds himself after squandering his fortune; his deep humiliation at finding himself obliged to feed swine, and still worse, at wanting to feed on the husks the pigs ate; his reflection on all he has lost; his repentance and decision to declare himself guilty before his father; the journey back; the father's generous welcome; the father's joy - all these are characteristic of the process of conversion. The beautiful robe, the ring, and the festive banquet are symbols of that new life - pure worthy, and joyful - of anyone who returns to God and to the bosom of his family, which is the Church. Only the heart Of Christ Who knows the depths of his Father's love could reveal to us the abyss of his mercy in so simple and beautiful a way.

My brothers and sisters, for your own sake and for God’s sake; take advantage of this incredible gift – Make confession a major source of grace in your life – you want things to change for the better – start here.

In Sunday Morning’s OOR, the third chapter of Paul’s letter to the Colossians contains lots of wisdom for all of us during this new season of renewal – “5 Put to death, then, the parts of you that are earthly: immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and the greed that is idolatry. Notice that it says, put to death; not just stop doing these but; put to death in a way that they will not be resurrected.  We are again called to chant, it’s not about me!!!! How difficult is this?  To live life for others, or more important; to live life for God.  After all, marriage relations are supposed to be about each other; trying to help each other become the best versions of ourselves.  After all, isn’t that the commitment we make when we have children; they must be the first priority along with God.  Not newer golf clubs, not a bigger John Deere tractor each year, not graduating from a Saab to a Lexus, to a Cadillac or Mercedes Benz.  That money should be in a college fund and we should all be driving car that don't cost as much as houses did not too long ago.  We need to spend quality time with our Lord instead of countless hours in front of the TV watching the train wreck Wives of every state & county in the US.  The desires that are evil are the longings to have revenge and to hold onto jealousy and distrust.  And the part about putting immorality and impurity to death – don’t get me started – the pornography industry is worth billions, courts are spending time on cases like the to right to wear bracelets that say, I LOVE BOOBIES and stores are selling provocative clothes for 10 year olds!!!!!!!!! (****by the way, I support Breast Cancer research but, wander if there isn't a better way to raise awareness?)

If we keep it up, the next verse will become a reality in our lives - 6 Because of these the wrath of God is coming (upon the disobedient).

7 By these you too once conducted yourselves, when you lived in that way. 8 But now you must put them all away:  anger, fury, malice, slander, and obscene language out of your mouths.  There is no place for anger in our hearts; not anger that leads to fury, malice, slander, and gossip.  Again, don’t get me started on the proliferation of obscene language that easily rolls out of the mouth of most Americans.  The second commandment is nonexistent in this world and crude and foul language has become an acceptable part of our society.   

9 Stop lying to one another, since you have taken off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed, for knowledge, in the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all and in all.  You know my friends, we should be praying today for the soul of Osama bin Laden.  Yes, he was the devil incarnate, like Hitler, Mussolini, and Saddam Hussein, but we must pray for our enemies – I think I recall something in the Bible about this; maybe something Jesus said while He was with us.

12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. – On Saturday, I attended a Men’s conference where Deacon Ralph Poyo (a fantastic speaker and witness) reminded us that MEN are supposed to be the heads of families: that men are to be the examples of behavior and proper conduct.  Men who exhibit compassion and kindness.  Men who are the complete opposites of TV portrayals of husbands and fathers.  Men who are humble and gentle; men who love their wives enough to say NO to excessive spending and obsession to material things and who will teach their daughters proper conduct when dating and who make it their top priority the salvation of the souls of their family.  Men who cast off fear and shame – Men who look to God and their priests for advice and counsel – Men who are Men; not guys whose priorities are “their buds” & their Buds (Budweiser’s).

14 And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Then in the chapter of Divine Intimacy, we are reminded of the “invitation to the spiritual childhood for attaining salvation: “Unless you be converted and become as little children, you shall NOT enter into the kingdom of Heaven.” 

This is the beginning of the prayer at the end of the DI chapter, “My God, give me a simple, pure heart, free of malice and hypocrisy.  “O Lord, grant me true purity and simplicity: in my looks, words, heart, intentions, works, and in all my interior and exterior acts.  I should like to know, O Lord, what there is in me that impedes these virtues.” Indeed, what is in me that impedes my walk with the Lord.  What do I have to put to death that will keep me from eternal life?

last evening I spent some time contemplating what Mary went through during the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus.  Look at the Pieta, the Lamb of God in the arms of the His Mother Mary – the Son of God lay dead on her precious lap

She knew what Jesus was doing – She knew all along that her Jesus would sacrifice Himself. – She was told by Simeon that her heart would be pierced.  She had it happen when the lance opened the side of her only begotten Son. 

Imagine her joy when Her Son visited her after He rose from the dead – She had waited three days and He came – He did what He said He would do – He died to pay for our sins; then He Rose again – He was with her again – He had kept His promise

Her baby boy had saved the world

It is my belief that Mary was aware of Jesus’ plan. Imagine to yourself, Jesus and Mary spending nights on end talking around a fire -  I believe that Jesus interpreted the Scriptures to Mary before He taught in the synagogue.  She knew when He was 12 (fifth mystery – Finding Jesus in the Temple) that He was very, very special.

They lived together for 30 years.  Mary traveled with Him.  She listened to parables that are not recorded in the Bible.  It is my faith that she knew what was to happen during the Last Supper. She listened to Jesus’ teaching for 18 years before He set out for His three years of public life.  She may have prayed to the Father to spare her Son but, as Jesus did, immediately prayed, “Thy will do done”

How else could she have watched His scourging and then walked, step by step to Calvary.  She knew He would conquer death, but He first had to suffer for our sins.

I propose that the next place Jesus went after the encounter at the tomb was to see Mary, His Mother.  I’m sure Jesus couldn’t wait to tell His Mother how He found Adam and Eve and her nephew, John the Baptist – He told her that Elizabeth sends her love and that Zechariah is now with His father in Heaven.  Before He finally ascended to heaven, she watched a few more times as Jesus spent time with the children.

He ascended to the Father but first He spent some quality time with His mother.

These are just my thoughts – If anyone knows if these thoughts are a very incorrect thing, please let me know –This Lent I have grown closer to Mary and pray that I will always increase my devotion to the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the Rosary. 

My Mother, Jesus’ Mother, our Beloved Mother is very special.  I pray for all of you - that her Immaculate Heart will add to the graces of the Sacred Heart of her Son.
 

Two days ago we were saddened by the remembrance of the death of the Son of God.  Jesus of Nazareth had led a sinless, servant life and at the end, sacrificed himself for the sins of all mankind.  He died a cruel and vicious death on the wood of the cross.  Alone and forsaken, other than his Mother, John, and the women who loved him most, he breathed His last as He shouted, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me".

But then, at the instant of the death of His mortal body, His immortal soul was freed of the pain, hurt, and anguish and now immediately rejoiced in His next step; a step He was looking forward to since the fall of Adam; His entry into the nether world to free Adam and Eve and bring them into the bosom of His heavenly Father.  Jesus descended to rise up Abraham and Noah and Moses and David.  He took Joseph, His worldly father by the hand and led him to His Heavenly Father.  Maybe He spent three days in the tomb because He greeted and embraced all those who had died before His death and presented them to His Father.  He lovingly sought out Isaiah and Hosea; He smiled as He came across Solomon and Samuel.  He tenderly hugged Job and thanked him for his faith.  He welcomed Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and David.  Jesus smiled a thankful and proud smile when He found Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  He shed a tear of love for his cousin John the Baptist as he walked with Him to present Him to the Father.

This is the resurrection.  This is the Jesus who waits for us.  This is what I strive for - to have my Lord and Savior look at me with a big smile on His face and present me to my heavenly Father.  (Had to pause here and cry a bit) – the same Father who held me so tenderly last year as I sought spiritual direction from my dear friend Paulette – the same Father who keeps reassuring me that everything will be OK and that I must continue to stay straight the path.  The same Father who gave me the Truth and asked me to be there for Him.  The same Father who challenged me to be a rod and to take what He has and give it away; and the same Father who said. “Don’t be so serious Michael, show joy”.  And the same Father who challenged me to “make the turn”.

Easter is a time of joy, a time to start anew.  My prayer is that all of you had a Lent that helped you to come closer to the Father.  My prayer for all of you that I love; Rita and Patricia and Sue, Susan, Deb, Debs, Debbie, Maureen, Maryann and Pam is that you are blessed with joy and hope.  My prayer for John and Dan, Robert, Charbel, and Brian and Rick, Billy, Brad, and Paul is that you are filled to overflow with grace and happiness.  My prayer for you, Brother Paul and Father Brian and Father Kevin, Father John, Father Lon, Father Roger, Father Ron, Father Ray, Father Chuck and most of all Father Dan is that you will continue be embraced by the love of our Triune God.  My prayer for you Kate and Ben is that you will continue to be the most precious gift a man can have; two incredible children who make me so, so proud to be your Dad.  My prayer for my Daddy is that God will show him mercy and that he will see the face of God at the instant of his passing from this life to his heavenly reward.  Finally, my prayer for all of my dearest friends is that you will keep the faith and that we all will celebrate our lives together throughout eternity.  I miss my dear Jane and can’t wait to see her again in heaven.  I miss my grandmothers and can’t wait to feel their hugs again.

Last night I attended the vigil, where the Easter fire lit the Pashcal candle with the light of hope.  Last night, I heard the story of creation and the stories that led to the empty tomb.  Jesus went first to see His mother, then to Mary, who He loved so much.  He stayed with us for another season to continue to pour out grace and usher in the love between Him and the Father, the Holy Spirit.  It is that love, the Spirit of God that is with us today as we celebrate Christ’s victory over death - His victory over sin.  It is our challenge to embrace this victory.  Not just by proclamation but a life of witness, a life of example, a life of holiness.  We are all called to be saints - & for you that have followed my silly rants know how crazy that sounds for a crazy man like me; but that is where I set out to go.  Imagine that, Saint Michael the Sinner.  Imagine that Saint Michael, the beloved of the Father.  Imagine that!!!!

read this very carefully – it is the second reading from the OOR in today's Liturgy of the Hours - this is one of the most incredible homilies ever written!!!!

Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: “My Lord be with you all.” Christ answered him: “And with your spirit.” He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: “Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”

I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell.

Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated. For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden.

See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree.

I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you.

Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.
 

“My most beloved Jesus, it was not the weight of the cross but the weight of my sins which make You suffer so much”.- this line in the prayer for the 3^rd station composed by St. Alphonsus Liguori hit me each Friday night during this Lent.  Then later during the 6^th station we pray; My most beloved Jesus, your face was beautiful before you began this journey; but , now it no longer appears beautiful and is disfigured with wounds and blood.  Alas, my soul also was once beautiful when it received Your grace in Baptism; but I have since then disfigured it with my sins.

As I ponder these prayers on this Good Friday, I fully understand that my sins of wrong thought were the pain of the crown of thorns.  My sins of anger were the whips that scourged my Lord.  My sins of the flesh caused Jesus to sweat blood in the garden of Gethsemane.  I yielded the hammer that drove the nails into His hands, not the Roman soldier.  I abandoned the Christ along with Peter, James and the rest of the twelve other than John, the Beloved.  I along with Judas betrayed the Lamb of God by my addictions.

The prayer for the 10^th station is one I must repeat on a daily basis, “Help me to strip myself of all attachment for the things of earth that I may place all my love in You who are so worthy of my love.  I love You, O Jesus, with all my heart; I am sorry for ever having offended You.  Never let me offend You again.   Grant that I may love You always and then do with me as You will.  Its that last line, “then do with me as You will” that is the struggle.  Abandonment is one of the 12 steps to Holiness and Salvation.  We are called to give ourselves to God and focus on His will, not ours.  But that is what is so hard.  That means we all must abandon our control issues.  We must swallow our pride and even though we may look like a fool, humble ourselves for our children and be patient with their walk.  We must take time from our jobs and we must even sacrifice our prayer time and church time to give ourselves to our loved ones.  We must have Christ like patience if our spouses, siblings, parents, or children are ill; mentally or physically.  Lukewarm abandonment mocks our Lord.  Jesus gave all of himself.  He fell three times climbing the hill to Calvary because with every ounce of His being He wanted to spread His perfect, loving arms on the cross to embrace us in His love.  We are not called to this level of sacrifice, we are simply called to accept His sacrifice and give up our pride and forget about ourselves and live for our God; to do the will of the Father.  We are called to spread our arms to accept His love and let His Holy Blood wash us clean. 

This is not easy, but neither was the Way of the Cross for Jesus.  Neither was the unimaginable pain suffered by His Mother, who walked step by step with her Son.  As I mentioned the other day, I recently faced this reality in my Dark Night of the Soul.  I saw and felt what my sins did to Jesus and as I prayed the Stations during this Lent, I recalled what a wretch I have been, what a disappointment I have been to my God.  Tomorrow night I will rejoice in my salvation, in my forgiveness; but tonight I must recommit myself to avoiding the near occasion of sin whenever I pray the Our Father. 

We pray…as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be at the end of our prayers.  What does that mean?  It may mean that I am expected to trust God as Abraham and Noah trusted God.  It may mean that I must reject the apple in the garden of Eden of sin out there in this crazy mixed-up world.  It may mean that I must listen to every little detail like Moses did; and do exactly what God is asking of me.  Not justify, not claim weakness, and not make excuses.

I had the honor to direct a retreat which had John 3:16 as its theme.  I must recall God’s love each morning as I start my day.  I must be still and know that God calls me “My love”.  I pray that all of you that read this do the same.  We are not in control, the Holy Spirit is in charge and we must get out of His way.  Some of us need spiritual direction; some of us help from a colleague of Dr. Phil.  We all need to take advantage of the grace of the confessional. 
The closing prayer in the stations goes like this

My good and dear Jesus,

I kneel before you, asking you most earnestly to engrave upon my heart a deep and lively faith, hope and charity, with true repentance for my sins, and a firm resolve to make amends.

As I reflect upon your five wounds, and dwell upon them with deep compassion and grief, I recall, good Jesus, the words the Prophet David spoke long ago concerning yourself: “They pierced My hands and My feet; they have numbered all My bones.”

One last thing - pray for our priests, who give so much of themselves during Holy Week.  Take the time to thank them for their priesthood.
**If the Holy Spirit moves you, scroll down the list on the left side and click on Good Friday to read my thoughts from previous years

Last week he was a Seventh day Adventist – Then he called Monday and left a message that he was now a Baptist – the third call on Tuesday was a wonderful heart-felt Easter greeting

On my way home today from work in NH my phone rang and it was Ernest again  - I was tempted to let it go to voicemail but pushed the button and his deep voice said “Hi this is Ernest and I was wondering if you were going to church tonight”

I met Ernest a little more than a year ago when he called the rectory to see if anyone there was interested in giving him a ride to church – Ernest had been going to church in a nearby town but his ride was no longer able to pick him up on Saturday nights so he started calling churches to see if he could “get a ride”

Ernest lives with his wife in Groton and is in the DMR program for people who formerly lived at the Seaside Regional Center for the  Mentally Retarded in nearby Waterford – tonight he told me that he lived there for 22 years after staying with his family until he was 6 – Ernest is now 56 and is the best 7^th Day Adventist, Baptist Catholic I’ve ever known – During this year, Ernest has been an on and off again Catholic more times than I can keep track of – After a few weekends, he would call and say he was not going to church again and then a month later he would call, as if he never stopped and ask if I could take him to Mass on Saturday night

I’ve prayed much about why I was chosen to be part of this man’s life – He undoubtedly is going to heaven when he dies, his mental retardation does not make it possible for him to sin and he truly does believe in God and understands in a beautifully simple way who Jesus is and what He did for us – my prayer is that I understand why I am given the grace of taking him to church – I often try to share my graces with others who may need some extra blessings – not that I can’t use all of the grace I can get, but many times I am busy doing other ministry tasks and have not been able to pick him up when he calls on a Friday and decides he wants to go to Mass this week – I ponder the question as to whether Ernest was intended to be my occasion for grace or was I supposed to find someone else to care for his spiritual needs – I have talked to our pastor, have sought many of my parish friends help and have asked God what I am to do – then, as I mentioned, he decides that he doesn’t want to go to church or changes denominations again and he is gone for months at a time - & then, the phone rings and it’s Ernest

Tonight I watched him as he prayed after receiving the Eucharist on the feast that celebrates Christ’s gift of His body, blood, soul, and divinity.  Ernest understood completely what he just received as he bowed his head in prayer – As I said my normal prayer after receiving I added a blessing for my pal Ernest –
 
I had made other commitments for tomorrow, for the vigil and for Easter Sunday and won’t be able to take him to Mass – as we rode home, after I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts to get his wife 4 donuts, at her request, and a raspberry iced tea with four Equals for Ernest, he told me that he would watch Mass on EWTN instead-If only all of us Catholics were that devoted, it would make our God very happy

I thank my Lord for the blessing of Ernest and pray for direction as to what to do the next time he decides that he wants to become a Methodist or Baptist again – for now, may God bless him and keep him, may His face shine upon him and may God’s peace be with Ernest this Easter season.

They brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks across its back, and he sat on it. (Mark 11:7)

Today’s Feast Day is truly bittersweet – We begin Mass with Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem.  The same Jerusalem Christ cried over just a short time ago.  Jesus entered to shouts of joy…that soon will echo with shouts of Crucify Him!!!!

We wonder how the people of Jesus’ time could do that – Today they throw their cloaks and palm branches across the road and four days later they will be jeering at Him as he is beaten and scourged before continuing on that same road to Calvary.  We wonder how the people could do that yet we sin soon after receiving the Eucharist, the gift He gave us before reentering that road. 

I came face to face with this when I faced my Dark Night of the Soul 28 days ago on the Feast of Saint Joseph.  That night I realized what my sins truly did to Jesus – I was the one that shouted the joy of His resurrection and then continued to let my weakness lead me to sin again.  I read the Scripture before each Friday Morning prayer, “Your inmost being must be renewed, and you must put on the new man”, yet all I was doing was vainly trying to polish and buff the old man.  “To be in Christ means being a completely new creature.  Everything of old is gone, now everything is made anew (2Corinthians 5:17)

As we begin Holy Week, have the hope of Christ entering into Jerusalem with shouts of Hosanna in the Highest.  Yes, this will lead to His passion and death on Good Friday; but also the joy of the Resurrection next Sunday.  If you have not taken the opportunity for the grace of the sacrament of Reconciliation, please do so.  The feeling I had on Thursday as I finished my confession was of indescribable peace.  The guilt was gone…& Yes, it is very humbling and not very comfortable to tell my God and my confessor all that I had done to offend my God - but the reward is everlasting life – the reward is to be able to sit on the colt and enter into the promised land with Jesus as my defender, redeemer, and friend.

Here is the challenge in DI for today – “it is not enough to accompany Jesus in His triumph; we must follow Him in His Passion, prepared to share in it by stirring up in ourselves the exhortation from the 2^nd chapter of Phillipians: 5 Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus, 6 Who,  though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. 7 Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, 8 he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross. 9 Because of this, God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and may His peace, especially His peace be with you today and forever.